Divorce can be a challenging experience for minor children, who have no say or fault in the matter but nevertheless find their lives completely uprooted. Everything they know is no longer the same, and they may experience feelings of insecurity as a result.
The addition of constant travel between homes can add considerably to their burden, potentially making their academic, extracurricular and social lives more difficult or even making them feel as if they do not truly belong anywhere. Nesting is a potential balm to help with this problem.
How does nesting work?
In a nesting arrangement, the children stay in the family home, and the parents take turns living there with them according to a predetermined schedule. This allows the children to remain in a familiar environment, reducing the amount of change in their lives. It also minimizes the disruption to their routines.
What are the advantages for parents?
Nesting offers obvious advantages for children in terms of stability and easing the adjustment period, but it can also make it easier for parents to co-parent effectively. By sharing the responsibility of maintaining the family home, parents can focus more on their children’s needs and less on logistical issues. This can lead to improved communication and cooperation between parents, which can benefit the children.
What are the considerations associated with nesting?
While nesting has its pros, it is not right for every family. Parents need to consider if they have the financial ability to maintain three households, the family home and a home for each parent when they are not staying with the children. Time and maturity are also considerations. While younger children may need nesting more, they will also be in the home longer and the long-term sustainability of it may be in question. Older children may be out of the house sooner and need it less. There are also job considerations; if one parent may have to move for work, nesting may not be the choice for that family.
Nesting after divorce has its advantages, especially for children. However, each family needs to judge its suitability for their situation as it is not a one-size-fits-all solution.