First of all, when you have kids with someone you aren’t married to – either an ex-spouse or someone you never married – you are probably already familiar with one fact: Kentucky prefers shared custody. This means that your parenting situation is an ongoing negotiation with someone else.
You can overcome co-parenting obstacles
Finding common ground can alleviate the stresses of co-parenting, but that isn’t necessarily an easy task. What you may have to do is work small and focus on small goals, like:
- Regular communication: When it comes to how the kids are acting and how they’re doing in school, both parents want as much information as possible.
- Consistent rules: Coming together with your ex about issues of discipline also means being consistent between homes on certain things. Maybe the rules between houses aren’t identical, but similar on issues such as homework and bedtime.
- Clear calendars: Shared calendar apps and consistent schedules will make life a lot smoother for everyone involved.
Essentially, the common ground you and your ex will have is over the child. You will both work incredibly hard to make sure they are getting the best possible life they can get.
Don’t take it personally.
However, it is possible that even in the best of circumstances, you will find a lot to argue about with your ex. Raising a child is hard work for everyone; it’s only natural that working with someone you choose not to have a life with will be even harder.
Taking a step back and looking at the work of “raising your kid” as work may help you. Consider your co-parent a coworker. You can rely on them to help you in the ways you’ve seen them be successful. You may also have to be generous with what you ask of them and expect.